Change is measured by its impact on those who are connected to it. Change happens in the heart before it is declared by our works. Change changes the speed of time. Let us start from the biggest and perhaps the most important mistake: the reason you decided to get married! Unfortunately, many people marry for all the wrong reasons and that is why many marriages end up in divorce.
Change first
If you understand and accept the simple principle, that all people make mistakes and that it is part of human nature, you should be able to forgive and look to the future. Be patient with your partner’s faults and infuriating habits. Take responsibilities to change yourself, improve your relationship and the focus becomes you and not your partner. Tell your partner things that can help both of you out.
It is a fact that when two people disagree, the truth is somewhere in the middle;
therefore have faith in the strength of your relationship and always try to find ways to tackle a difficult situation together through dialogue and mutual decisions. As you act in love, forgiving and compassionate, you will notice your partner is gradually changing too.
Change is a ritual
It takes a lot of trouble and struggle to maintain quality and a true relationship. You need to show your interest in your partner everyday, especially in words. Perhaps you do not believe in saying stuffs that energise and enrich your relationship or marriage; they may sound silly, but those words and pet names such as “ I love you” “Baby” “Honey” “Sweetheart” keep you connected.
A good relationship is like flowers that want watering every day or else they will be destroyed. Therefore, adopt a ritual, shun your old ways and start to appreciate your spouse in words, thoughts and deeds. Change seeks a better place at the end and is complete when you both realise that something is different.
Change is not easy
You have to be mature enough to realise that marriage is a ‘life choice’ and takes a lot of thought and effort in order to make it work. Don't be afraid of changing your negative habits, doing so will help you.
The words and promises are made too easily when you love and when things go well. But when you get into a difficult situation, things change. This is the time to stop the unreal promises and start making a change too.
It's not easy to Change, especially if those around you are feeding you with negativity. But with prayer, prayer and more prayer, backed with a sincere heart, you and your marriage will be better off.
by ELIZABETH BADEJO